I have written this article many times. In one hand I was waiting to post it since it is until now that we are closing a stage and moving forward to the next one. In the last month and a half, my baby has shown a big jump in her development. She stopped being the newborn baby to become the baby that rolls on the floor, sits up, eats and doesn’t want to take her nap because she doesn’t want to miss the beautiful world that spins around her. In the other hand I have been thinking how to say what I want without offending anyone. When we talk about babies, everybody has an opinion or a myth to spread out. In the beginning I had a big list of the second ones. I’ve decided to keep that list for myself for now. I have summarized all that first time mom experience into into 3 vital advises:
1. To listen, to read and to investigate: I have always said that I don’t beleive in anything but I beleive at the same time. I listen to all advises from anyone who wants to give me one. Then I read, investigate and finally perform. In Latinamerica, and I am sure in other parts of the world too, there is a lot of myths about the baby’s health that people spread around. Things such as the ‘evil eye’, ‘the baby breach’, the use of potions to produce more milk and many others have been said from generation to generation. The truth is, there is nothing new to invent. I would listen but then I would look up on the Internet, on the books and if I still had questions I would check with the pediatrician.
2. Follow your instincts: When I became a mother I found out that women bodies are amazing. Creating a new human being is already incredible. But that is only the beginning. The changes in our hormons produce the quality and quantity of food that our babies need while they grow but also our brain structure changes after the deliver. So, when we think on how much clothes our baby should use according to the weather, or when we think if we should let the baby cry in a certain situation or if we should give them food before 6 months old or what to do if the baby got sick my motto is,
In motherhood there are advises not rules. Follow your instinct.
3. Find your support networks:
Last week I wrote about dealing with the lonelisess of motherhood. That particular topic made me read a lot and question myself on where did my relatives and friends go and how to rebuild those support netwroks living away from many of them. I read on another blog a phrase that said “find your people, create your tribe and raise in companionship and with love”. I had to admit then, that I couldn’t do everything by myself, that my house was no longer going to be always clean and that I wasn’t a perfect human being. I have been getting together with other friends that have children. Fortunately, it seems my husband and I started a tendency, or it migth be a generational thing. Anyway, whom else could understand us and give us support if it is not another parent?
Every new mom gives 110% of herself since what moves us is the desire to see them ok.